Make choices that serve you and your goals

October 3, 2014 by  

Abandonment issues are at the heart of many roadblocks.  We all have abandonment issues; birth itself creates abandonment issues, for example.  This doesn’t mean that birth abandonment issues are sabotaging or interfering with everyone’s lives; plenty of people feel no effect from them at all.

While some birth abandonment issues are so traumatic that they do leave permanent scars, aka roadblocks, it’s more typically the abandonment we experience over the years that builds up and interferes with making the choices that will lead us to where we want to go.  These choices shape our lives and dictate outcomes that negatively affect what we desire to be, do or have.

Usually I use stories about clients to illustrate the topic of these twice-monthly emails, but today I’ve decided to use a personal one.  I’ve never revealed this publicly before and am not sure how it’s going to turn out, but here goes.



My father walked out on his family when I was four years old and my brother was one.  His new wife was jealous of anything that didn’t involve her, so she insisted they live in Westchester instead of somewhere in New Jersey equally far away from New York City, where they both worked.

My father, who had enough balls to walk out on us, didn’t have enough to say no to her.  She also discouraged visits and apparently phone calls, because these were very few and far between, including none for birthdays and holidays, like Christmas.

Self-restraint on steroids
My mother never ever spoke ill of him to us, although she certainly had plenty of reasons, many ongoing, to do so.  One thing I’ll never forget was overhearing her on the phone saying to him, “When are you going to see the children, it’s been months since they’ve seen you or heard from you.”

Hearing her beg this man to see his own children is such a searing memory I’ll never forget it. One year, a couple of weeks before Christmas, I just happened to notice a check from him on her desk.  Although still young enough to be in elementary school, I knew it was for Christmas presents, and when I asked her about it, she admitted it was.

AND was caring enough to assure me it was only because he thought she would know better what we’d like, which was true, but she could have told him what to get us and he could have gone out and bought it and mailed it.  But he couldn’t be bothered.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg, this sort of thing and worse continued on until I was in my early 30’s, at which point I cut off all communication and have never regretted it.


So all my life I (subconsciously) looked for someone who would love me enough that he would want to keep me.  I finally figured out that I always chose men who were very much like him – extremely intelligent, charming and unavailable – and in an attempt to “win” this time, to have it turn out differently, went out of my way to be so good and so loving and to treat them so well that they would say to themselves, “This girl is so special I want to keep her.”

But it never happened.  And when I finally woke up, after being in a relationship for a few years and admitted to myself that this one was never going to want to keep me, I broke up with them, swore I was not going to make this mistake anymore, and promptly went out and did it again.  And again and again.

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result.  According to this definition, I should have been committed long ago!


When I first started out doing roadblock removal, I practiced on myself and was shocked at how many abandonment roadblocks there were.  Banishing him from my life had no effect on the collection of roadblocks created over the years.  Roadblocks that caused me a great deal of unhappiness and kept me from the life and I so desperately wanted.

After a lot of work, no abandonment roadblocks ever showed up again, and I thought, “Great, now things will turn out differently.”


When I was 42, I married a man who adored me, worshipped the water he truly believed I walked on.  He was the first man in my life who’d ever felt this way about me and I was captivated.  “I’ve finally gotten it right,” I said to myself.

Not so fast.  While I’d finally met someone who met the “wanted to keep me” criteria, I neglected to do my due diligence and didn’t realize he wasn’t the right person for me in many other respects.

Another poor choice, albeit a very different poor choice.  Even so, it felt good to have someone who genuinely cared for me, would do anything for me and who I knew would never leave me.  So while it wasn’t the best choice I could have made, at least he was an extremely nice guy who treated me like gold.

A new chapter
Now he’s deceased, and those of you who also subscribe to The BUZZ, the newsletter that goes out to people on the list for the website, know that I’m in the process of looking for someone else.

And have been successful at identifying the wrong kind of men pretty quickly.  Am I still attracted to them?  Yes.  But after 2-3 dates, I can spot the bad-for-me ones and immediately discontinue seeing them.

This is huge, and wouldn’t be my experience had I not gotten rid of those abandonment roadblocks.


Do you find that you’ve been making the same bad relationship choices over and over again and don’t understand why?  Are you attracted to the same kind of person again and again, the kind of person with whom it always ends badly?

Because if you’re making the same poor choices again and again, I can guarantee that it’s because of a roadblock.  Maybe it’s not an abandonment roadblock, but whatever it is, it keeps you in a relationship with someone who’s wrong for you because it demands that you keep at it until you finally “get it right” or ”win.”


You can break this destructive cycle.  You can free your present life and your future when the forces that compel you to “keep at it until you get it right” have been removed and no longer block you from making choices that allow you to move forward in a positive direction.

My story is a textbook example of an abandonment roadblock, but I’ve helped many, many other people who were stuck in the cycle of making choices that didn’t allow them to live the kind of life they desired because abandonment roadblock were in the way.

This can be your experience  
You can break free of the forces that cause you to continue to make the same poor choices, hoping that the results will be different this time.  It truly has nothing to do with being a good or a bad person, or being a smart or a stupid person.  It has to do with being a trapped person in a prison not of your own making.

Those poor choices really are beyond your control, so rather than getting down on yourself, do the only thing that will make it possible to be, do and have what you want. Stage a break-out!  Get rid of what’s standing in your way.


Send me an email and request a consultation, and get on my calendar so you can tell me where you are right now and where you’d rather be instead.  I’ll explain to you how I’ll make that happen.

If you’d like a little more information before requesting your private consultation, take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the other challenges former clients have successfully overcome, and so can you.  Take a look at some of the Testimonials (there are dozens more that I have to get my act together and put up there).

Then click on the link in one of the boxes on the Home page to discover even more, and choose which participation option is right for you.


Not a whole helluva lot.  For each of your roadblock removal sessions, you’ll call me on the phone, sit in a comfy chair or lay down on the bed – you can even fall asleep! – and I do all the work.  You don’t have to talk about or reveal anything about yourself or your past.

You don’t even have to believe in it –  it still works.

Yes, it really is as simple as that.  And after four sessions, if you don’t notice yourself thinking, feeling and acting differently, I’ll give you your money back.


You CAN have what you want to have, be who you want to be and do what you want to do once you get rid of the subconscious blocks standing in your way.  Isn’t that what you want for yourself?  The sooner you do something about it, the sooner this will be your reality.

So direct a request for your personal consultation to Sydney [at] SydneyBarrows [dot] com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about resolving  it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,


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