Procrastination – the Indecisiveness Factor

August 4, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

One of the biggest roadblocks to getting what you want out of life is the inability to decide what to do and how to do it.  There are so many options, how can you be sure which one is best?

How can you predict what choice will yield the best results?  How do you figure out which will make you the happiest, will generate the most revenue, or will shield you from judgment or criticism from those whose opinions you value?

Indecision can be paralyzing
With these kinds of thoughts racing through your mind, it’s frustrating and difficult to make a choice.  So you put it off and put it off, and at some point, are accused of or accuse yourself of, procrastinating.

Being unable to make up your mind and choose what to do, how to do it and to commit to making a plan based on that choice sabotages your life, your relationships and your business.

Indecision

THE STORY

Jonathan “suffered” from having too many options after graduating from college in New Orleans.  He could move back to Michigan and go into the (very successful and lucrative) family business, he could stay in New Orleans and work for the company where he had been an intern, or he could take a few years off and join the Peace Corps.

All had their pros and cons, and there wasn’t one he felt significantly more passionate about than the other two.  So until he made up his mind, he did what many new graduates do and moved back home.  And nearly a year later he was still there, because he couldn’t decide what to do.

THE STRUGGLE

Jonathan’s parents were glad to have him at home, after not having seen much of him for four years.  But after a couple of months, they started to ask him what his plans were, listened and put their two cents in, but didn’t push.

By Labor Day, his grandparents started getting into the act, and they were more high pressure.  Add to the mix that time was running out with the position in New Orleans; if he waited any longer the opportunity would probably disappear.

Our own worst critic
And Jonathan was getting more and more anxious himself.  He’d had so much time to think about it that it became increasingly more urgent that whatever he chose absolutely had to be the very best choice.

The more pressure he put on himself, the more apprehensive he became about picking the right one.  His mother had a friend who had been a roadblock removal client, and she hoped her son would get the same terrific result that her friend did.

THE ROADBLOCKS

There was nothing that Jonathan could think of that was “causing this procrastination.”  Unlike traditional talk therapy, it didn’t matter if he ever figured that out.  A roadblock removal client says almost nothing during a session, so there’s no digging up the past or having to answer the question, “And how did that make you feel?”

Once he heard this, he was on board!  There were a number of roadblocks like guilt, helplessness and worry that came up, which were quickly cleared as were all the others.

THE RESULTS

Sometimes clients need a little more support than just removing their roadblocks, and in addition to getting rid of his roadblocks about making a decision, Jonathan wanted the point of view and opinion of a disinterested party about his choices.

We spent an hour talking about it, or rather he talked, I just asked questions, which brought things to the surface that he hadn’t previously considered.  In the end, he decided to apply for the Peace Corps, a good choice considering a number of things he’d shared during that discussion.

While his parents weren’t thrilled, to their credit they didn’t try to persuade him to reconsider.  But they were thrilled he was finally moving ahead with his life.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

Do find you have difficulty making decisions about what to do and how to do it, or when confronted with two or more good options, do you often have trouble making a choice?

There are a number of reasons this is a problem, but regardless of what they are, the underlying subconscious blocks supporting them are easily removed.  Without that foundation, those “reasons” no longer have the ability to sabotage and interfere with making a choice or coming to a decision.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF

Whenever your conscious mind wants to make a decision and it’s just not happening, it’s because subconscious roadblocks are interfering with the process.  For some inexplicable reason, your subconscious doesn’t want a change in the status quo, even though at least one of the choices is in your best interests.

During a session, all you have to do is sit quietly on the phone for an hour or so 2-3 times a month, without multi-tasking.  It’s that easy.  No mindset reset, affirmations, keeping a journal, making lists — none of this is necessary.

Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the challenges clients have successfully overcome, and you can, too.  Take a look at some of the Testimonials (there are dozens more that I have to get my act together and put up there).

Then click on the link in one of the boxes on the home page to discover even more, and choose which participation option is right for you.

Don’t let another week, month or year go by as your life slips away because you aren’t or can’t make decisions and choices that serve your best interests.

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE,
THERE IS NO DO-OVER

You CAN have what you want to have, be who you want to be and do what you want to do once you get rid of the barriers standing in your way.  Imagine how great that will feel!!  The sooner you do something about it, the sooner this will be your reality.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about resolving  it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,

cropped-sydneysig.jpg

 

 

Why does procrastination protect you

July 27, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

When we set a goal for ourselves and are unable to “find the time” to accomplish it, we usually attribute that failure to procrastination.  That goal could be any number of things, like writing an ebook, redoing your website, adding a new service or creating a new program or product.

We definitely want to do it, we know our business and our bottom line would benefit from it, but even so, it never seems to get finished.  Or even started.  What’s up with that?

Lots of things are up with that
There are so many reasons people “procrastinate” and one of them is fear of success.  What will or might happen if the ebook does well and brings in lots of new business?  Or it could be apprehension that we’ll have to put in even more hours than we already do to service our new clients, patients or customers.

There’s the fear that we won’t be able to handle so many more clients without expanding the business and hiring or outsourcing others to work for us, not to mention the management issues that come with that.

Fear trumps success
That’s just the tip of the iceberg, there are myriad reasons we fear success.  And because of that fear, we subconsciously “choose” not to succeed in order to avoid all the trauma and drama we fear will come with it.

Fear of Success

THE STORY

Art is a financial planner who spent quite a few years in the Asset Management Division of two banks before striking out on his own.  A handful of clients came with him, and like so many of you reading this, his new office was the dining room table.

He saw clients in a business/social club he belonged to “downtown” and no one was the wiser.  As he became more successful, he hired an admin, then an investment assistant, a bookkeeper and a portfolio manager.  The living room furniture was put in storage and replaced with half a dozen desks, filing cabinets and the like.

Prospects galore!
Then he was introduced to a business group of very successful men and women by one of his clients who sang his praises, and he joined this group himself because he could tell that many of the members had the potential to become clients.

Not very long after, he began receiving requests to meet and discuss his investment strategy so these prospects could judge whether he was a fit for their financial goals.

THE STRUGGLE

Art found it increasingly difficult to fit so many outside meetings into his schedule and run his business at the same time.  Nearly all of them resulted in a request for more specific information, but much to his consternation, wasn’t following up with them the way he knew he should in order to get their business.

This had never happened before and he was beginning to panic.  I had dinner with a mutual friend one evening who was indulging in a bit of schadenfreude (a feeling of enjoyment that comes from seeing or hearing about the troubles of other people) over this.

It was obvious to me that Art had roadblocks that were sabotaging his ability to do what he needed to do to acquire these clients.

A little too woo-woo airy-fairy?
I told our mutual friend a little bit about subconscious blocks that interfere with and can even block doing what we need to do to succeed, and while he was skeptical, he did mention it to Art.

Art was even more skeptical, but not so skeptical that he didn’t call to inquire about it further.  After being assured that it was all done on the phone, he wouldn’t have to talk about it, and if he saw no improvement he’d get a full refund, he grudgingly agreed to give it a try.

THE ROADBLOCKS

It turned out that Art had no fear of success itself, but of what it would require to successfully service so many clients.  He couldn’t fit any more staff into his apartment, and the prospect of looking for an office and having to do renovations as well as furnish it, none of which was even remotely his area of expertise, filled him with apprehension.

The worst thing about it, however, was the not-inconsiderable added expense of an office that he’d be contractually responsible for every month for several years.  Commercial space in the area and for the kind of building he would need to be in, was expensive.

The cons kept mounting up
And then there were all of the employees to think about, to manage, and the expenses that come with that.  None of this would be an issue if he didn’t bring on more clients.

His subconscious mind was throwing up these roadblocks to “protect” him from all this trauma and drama and keep him “safe”, which is the subconscious mind’s number one priority.

We accuse ourselves of procrastinating, when it’s really all about self-preservation, only we don’t realize it.

THE RESULTS

While it may sound like this would be a tough case to resolve, in fact it was fairly easy.  Art wasn’t afraid of success per se, he feared the added expense of an office and more employees.

After two sessions his anxiety level dropped noticeably, and by the fourth, he’d found a real estate broker and was starting to look at spaces.  He said that he thought he might need a few more sessions down the road, but finding and furnishing an office was what he had to deal with at the moment, and at the moment, that was working.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

We all have a subconscious that’s always on the alert for a situation that might cause us “harm” and in its sometimes misguided attempt to keep us safe, actually keeps us from achieving or having what we really want for ourselves, our business and our life.

When you find yourself “procrastinating” about achieving goal or accomplishing something you desire, more often than not it’s your subconscious looking out for what it perceives to be your best interests.  Remove those subconscious blocks, those roadblocks, and create the business and live the life you really want.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF

It usually takes just one or two sessions for you to notice a difference in the way you think and feel and in the choices you make.  No willpower or “making” yourself do anything, it comes completely naturally.  Most of my clients use the word, transformation.

And it couldn’t be easier, all you have to do is sit quietly on the phone, without multi-tasking, for an hour or so 2-3 times a month.  It’s that simple.

TIME TO TAKE ACTION!

Don’t let another week, month or year go by without accomplishing the things you want to do or achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the challenges former clients have successfully overcome, and you can, too.  Take a look at some of the Testimonials (there are dozens more that I have to get my act together and put up there).

Then click on the link in one of the boxes on the home page to discover even more, and choose which participation option is right for you.

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE,
THERE IS NO DO-OVER

You CAN have what you want to have, be who you want to be and do what you want to do once you get rid of the blocks standing in your way.  Imagine how great that will feel!!  The sooner you do something about it, the sooner this will be your reality.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about resolving it.

sydneysig

 

This time it will be different

July 15, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

The past several topics have been about procrastination and some of the many reasons we do it.  Most of the time when we think about procrastination we look at in terms of not getting something done.  Today we’re going to consider something I call “Life Procrastination.”

Life Procrastination is not doing what needs to be done that will lead to a successful and more satisfying life, by your definition.  While the word “success” is most often used to describe professional advancement, making more money and building a bigger business, success also means “the achievement of an aim or purpose” of any nature.

What is a successful life?
Examples of life successes might include getting married, having your dog win a ribbon in a competition or buying a home in a place you’ve always longed to live in.

A satisfying life is “a feeling of pleasure when you have the thing(s) you need or want; when the things you want to happen have happened; or when a particular demand, desire or need has been met.”

Life Procrastination is when you do not take action, do not make changes, or do not make the decisions or choices that are likely to lead to a successful and satisfying life.

This Time It Will Be Different

THE STORY

Allison’s father divorced her mother when she was very young, and remarried.  While her father could have easily bought a home near Allison, he chose to live several hundred miles away, and she saw him infrequently.  He rarely called; after the divorce she heard from him on her birthday, but that only lasted a few years.  She once overheard her mother on the phone insistently asking him when he was going to see Allison, because it had been a few months since the last visit.

The origins of a roadblock
Allison was devastated.  She couldn’t believe her mother had to “beg” her father to spend time with her.  After that, every time she saw him she never believed it was because he wanted to see her, but because he’d been pressured to do so by her mother.

Allison felt that she’d been “thrown away” because she wasn’t good enough, and that this “fact” was strongly supported by the available evidence.   Not feeling good enough caused her to make numerous unfortunate choices her entire life, some that might have appeared insignificant until you added them all up, and a few that considerably altered the path of her life.

THE STRUGGLE

Allison came to me, because after nearly thirty years she finally admitted to herself that she kept getting involved with men who weren’t interested in getting married.  They were smart, successful, nice, they had a great time together – but they weren’t the marrying kind.

And it’s not like they tried to hide it from her, often she knew this after the first or second date.  But she made it her mission to be so good to them, so loving, so sexy, so accommodating, so easy to be with, that they would realize how special she was and would want to keep her.  (As in not throw her away, like her father had.)

But of course they never did, and she eventually broke up with them and searched once more to find someone who would  think she was special enough to keep.  Only to be dismayed to discover that yet again, she had ended up with the same kind of man.

THE ROADBLOCKS

Allison was caught up in reliving the past and this time, ending up with a different future.  This time he will see how special she is.  This time it will work out.  This time she would win.  But like a magnet, she always attracted men who, in this respect and often many others, were just like her father.

There’s a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.  Allison was finally ready to break this cycle and attain her goal in a more realistic way.  But like many things, it’s easier said than done.

Life Procrastination
Her roadblocks were pretty obvious: she wanted to succeed – i.e. get married/find someone who wanted to keep her — but she couldn’t get past trying to do that in a very specific way.  It was the “doing it in a specific way” that was the roadblock.  And there were some ancillary roadblocks too, such as feeling she wasn’t good enough or special enough.

Finding someone who felt she was so special that he did want to keep her, to her, would validate that she is special, that she is good enough.  So we also worked on those issues.

THE RESULTS

Allison still isn’t married, but the last two men she’s gotten involved with were amenable to that.  There were other things about them that didn’t float her boat so those relationships didn’t pan out, but at least she was seeing men who were not confirmed bachelors.

She’s met a couple of guys that she immediately recognized she would have gone out with in the past, but this time didn’t let it get any further than the first date.  So she’s feeling very optimistic.  And she no longer feels like she has to be this super, more-than-good-enough woman, which took up a great deal of energy that she can now spend being more present.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

If any of Allison’s story resonates with you, sit down and do an honest appraisal of patterns you repeat over and over, hoping for a different result this time.  Your closest friends, if they’re willing and able to be completely honest with you, may have some good insight you could benefit from.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF

If you’re able to break free of these Life Procrastination patterns on your own, I encourage you to do so.  If you’re unable to do that, you should seriously consider removing the subconscious blocks that are keeping you stuck in your own private Groundhog Day.

You can break free of repetitive cycles of behavior that aren’t serving you.  In a matter of weeks, possibly months, you’ll no longer find yourself inevitably falling back into the same rut, the Life Procrastination rut, that doesn’t allow you to achieve what you really want for yourself and your life.

And all you have to do is sit quietly on the phone, without multi-tasking, for an hour or so 2-3 times a month.  It’s that easy.

TIME TO TAKE ACTION!

Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the challenges former clients have successfully overcome, and you can, too.  Take a look at some of the Testimonials (there are dozens more that I have to get my act together and put up there).

Then click on the link in one of the boxes on the home page to discover even more, and choose which participation option is right for you.

Don’t let another week, month or year go by because of Life Procrastination issues.

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE,
THERE IS NO DO-OVER

You CAN have what you want to have, be who you want to be and do what you want to do – or not do with you don’t want to do – once you get rid of what’s standing in your way.  Imagine how great that will feel!!  The sooner you do something about it, the sooner this will be your reality.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about resolving  it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,

sydneysig

 

Do you have destructive or unpleasant habits?

July 2, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

The last two posts have been about the roadblocks that get in the way of your ability to do what needs to be done to achieve a desired goal.  By far the most influential one is Resistance and also high on the list is Lack of Sincere Desire.

One that you don’t hear much about is Old Perception Habits and Patterns, in other words, having the same thoughts, beliefs, opinions and attitudes about something that occurred in the past – either to you or someone else – that influence what you believe and how you respond today to things that may or may not have any relationship to the incident that shaped those perceptions in the first place.

To cope with these perceptions, it’s not uncommon to develop habits and patterns that become ingrained and a part of your life, regardless of how detrimental or unpleasant they might be.

How we develop these Habits and Patterns

One of the ways some parents respond to a crying or very unhappy child is with food, usually something sweet (and high in calories).  That becomes a habitual response for the parent – feed someone to “make them feel better.”

It also becomes a pattern that the child identifies with, and they pick up the habit of eating something sweet whenever they’re unhappy.  Stress is a very close relative of unhappiness, so using food to deal with stress easily becomes a habit, too.

Old Perception Habits & Patterns

THE STORY

Whenever Maryann or anyone else in the family felt unwell or actually became ill, her mother’s immediate response was imagining all of the life-threatening diseases it could be.  Cancer was a particular favorite.

Maryann grew up being fearful every time she had any sort of physical symptom, even a common cold was perceived as possibly being a mortal case of pneumonia or the latest deadly virus, like the swine flu.

Too Much Information
Not only did Maryann do this with herself, she responded the same way to a friend, a colleague, her boyfriend – even total strangers were not spared.  Over the years a number of friends pointed out that this was both irrational and unpleasant to listen to, but what made her finally realize how serious the problem was, was when her boyfriend sat her down and did an “intervention”.

After listening to numerous examples of dire predictions that never came to anything, and being asked to name even one person who reacted to out-of-the-ordinary (for them) physical symptoms or illnesses the way she did, Maryann had to concede that perhaps she might be over reacting…sometimes.

Her boyfriend also told her that unless she got help he was breaking up with her, not only because he didn’t want to have to listen to it anymore, but should things get to that point, he didn’t want their children exposed to or pick up this habit.

THE STRUGGLE

Maryann didn’t know what to do.  She honestly believed that “being concerned” was a way of caring.  She also feared that unless she was constantly vigilant, a serious medical condition would go unrecognized, untreated, and either she or the person in question would die.

So not only did she have tremendous resistance to eliminating this habit pattern, she didn’t have the sincere desire to let it go either.  But she didn’t want to lose her boyfriend, and also realized that pretty much every man was going to have the same issues that concerned him.  And she did want to get married and have a family someday.  Still…

THE ROADBLOCKS

Entrenched perceptions and the habits and patterns that evolve from them, especially concerning safety and survival, are all but impossible to eradicate, even with years of therapy.  Your subconscious, which is unrelenting in its dedication to keep you alive, is always on the lookout for any dangers that might threaten your safely or survival.

And as mentioned earlier, resistance to change and the lack of sincere desire to change are roadblocks that will thwart every attempt at change.

Between a rock and a hard place
Maryann was resistant to the idea of therapy so that was out, and there wasn’t anything left that was acceptable either.  She felt very depressed and helpless about her future.

While doing some research on the internet, she found the Roadblock Removal website and requested a complimentary consultation.

THE RESULTS

What she liked best was that there wasn’t going to be any attempt to convince her to see things another way or to persuade her to want to change.  Any hint of that triggered her subconscious to resist even trying to resolve the issue.

Deeply entrenched thoughts, beliefs, opinions and attitudes that are perceived by the subconscious as essential to survival aren’t released quickly.  She had to understand that unlike all of the testimonials that talked about how quickly the process works, this was not going to be her experience.

There was no way to predict how long it might take and she was going to have to be patient and stick with it.  She agreed.

This was a first
I had never worked with serious survival issues like this before, and while I had no doubt that the process would work, I didn’t have a clue as to how long it might take.  And there was the concern that she’d give up before seeing results, but fortunately that didn’t happen.

Baby steps
The transformation was incremental.  The first sign of progress was that she no longer felt impelled to express her fears about others.  The next was noticing that she didn’t jump on every little twinge she felt herself.  The more noticeable “symptoms”, yes, but even they gradually decreased in number and intensity.

Her boyfriend agreed to stay together as long as she continued the sessions or until I threw in the towel.  He was very encouraged as her behavior started to change – he noticed it before she did!

Don’t go there!
The only time those old habit patterns got stirred up was when her mother started in, and she told her mother that if she did that, she was going to hang up the phone or leave.  And she did.  Eventually her mother was able to restrain herself when Maryann was around or they were on the phone together, but it took quite a while.

She’s committed to “the new and improved me” and now has resistance and the lack of desire to ever go back there.  Her friends have been so impressed with her transformation that she’s become my biggest source of referrals.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

Do you have any undesirable habits and patterns that are triggered under certain circumstances?  Is this detrimental to your job or your relationships with friends, family or a significant other?  Are you unhappy with the effect they have on you?

Like Maryann, you may be resistant to or not feel any real desire to let them go, yet on some level you know it would be in your best interests and your life would be happier.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF

You can be free of any habit you wish you didn’t have.  You’ll no longer find yourself inevitably responding in unfavorable ways to certain triggers or situations.   And all you have to do is sit quietly on the phone for an hour or so 2-3 times a month, without multi-tasking.  It’s that easy.

Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the challenges clients have successfully overcome, and you can, too.  Take a look at some of the Testimonials (there are dozens more that I have to get my act together and put up there).

Then click on the link in one of the boxes on the home page to discover even more, and choose which participation option is right for you.

Don’t let another week, month or year go by afflicted by habits and habit patterns that don’t serve you.

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE
THERE IS NO DO-OVER

You CAN have what you want to have, be who you want to be and do what you want to do – or not do with you don’t want to do –  once you get rid of what’s standing in your way.  Imagine how great that will feel!!  The sooner you do something about it, the sooner this will be your reality.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about resolving  it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,

sydneysig

 

Are you sure you really want it?

June 19, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

Last time we talked about the number one roadblock standing in the way of what you want to accomplish and achieve.  For just about everyone, it’s Resistance.

This time we’re going to address another of the top five roadblocks:  Lack of Sincere Desire.  Where this one is situated on your list depends on what your goal is.

Conscious mind vs subconscious mind
It never occurs to most people that their subconscious mind doesn’t truly desire what their conscious mind believes they really want.  Instead, when they have difficulty or find it downright impossible to do what needs to be done to get it, they chastise themselves for being lazy or for procrastinating.

What’s really going on is their subconscious mind is sabotaging them because for some reason, it doesn’t believe it’s in their best interest to do it or have it.

Why or how this came about is something it could take years of psychotherapy to figure out.  Fortunately, the Roadblock Removal process bypasses all that; it doesn’t matter why or how.  We just get rid of those roadblocks so you can move forward with your life.

Lack of Sincere Desire

THE STORY

Anthony is at a point in his life that he needs to get a bigger place to live.  His daughter recently turned three and their one-bedroom apartment is just too small to comfortably accommodate three people.  Plus, she’s going to start Pre-K next fall and the school she’d have to go to isn’t very good.

Anthony grew up in a house on the outskirts of the city they lived in, but it was a rental, his parents never owned it.  His parents often talked about buying their own home, but were never able to make it happen.

THE STRUGGLE

Anthony really wanted to own his own home and his wife was on board with it, too.

But something more important always seemed to come up on the weekends and he didn’t have the time to go house hunting.  When his wife finally decided to go with a girlfriend, he either couldn’t go to look at the one’s she liked, or when he did, there was always something wrong with it.

Money, money, money
Then there was the issue of money.  The way he’d been brought up, everything was paid for upfront with cash.  No car payments, no mortgage, and credit cards were used infrequently and always paid off as soon as the bill arrived.

Between Anthony and his wife, they’d managed to sock away a tidy sum, but even so, it would cover only about 50% of what they’d budgeted to pay for a house.  He said he was fine with putting 50% down and getting a 30 year mortgage, because the mortgage  payments would be less than they currently paid for rent and utilities.

THE ROADBLOCKS

As time went by, Anthony’s wife became more and more frustrated  that they weren’t even close to buying a house and it became such an issue that they were arguing about it – the only thing they’d ever argued about since they met.

One of her friends had a friend who had been through the Roadblock Removal process with great success, and suggested that maybe Anthony should give it a try.

“But I don’t wanna do it!”
Of course he thought it sounded like complete and utter BS – a common reaction.  He didn’t believe in psychotherapy and assumed it was basically the same thing, which is a common assumption.  Somehow she managed to talk him into it and he very reluctantly signed on.

In his case, Resistance and the Lack of Sincere Desire were the two biggest roadblocks that stood in his way.  He refused to believe either was true, especially the latter.  Fortunately it doesn’t matter, the process works whether you believe in it or not.

No tickee, no laundry
Think about it:  if you don’t sincerely desire to do, be or have something, how much time and energy are you going to be willing to put into it?  Not very much, right?  But no one realizes this is what’s going on and they beat themselves up, compromise relationships and sometimes even act out in regrettable ways with unfortunate results.

When your subconscious really doesn’t want to do something, lotsa luck with that.

THE RESULTS

After the first session, Anthony agreed to take a look at a couple of houses.  After the third, he was able to see some good points and not just the things he didn’t like.  After the fourth, he was able to be somewhat enthusiastic about the house hunting process.

His mindset continued to improve and eventually, they found a place they both liked and bought it!

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

The Lack of Sincere Desire is a roadblock that never occurs to anyone because their conscious mind actively wants it.  If you have a goal that you believe you really want but can’t seem to do what you need to do to reach it, your subconscious could be sabotaging you because IT doesn’t truly desire it.

There is usually more than one roadblock that interferes with doing what we need to do to be who we believe we want to be, have what we believe we want to have, and achieve a goal we’re sure we want to make real.  Getting rid of them is simple and easy.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF

If Anthony’s story sounds way too familiar to you and you’re having similar  issues, roadblocks are the culprit.  Once they’re gone, the path is clear and you can finally be on your way to the life you’ve always longed for.

Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the challenges clients have successfully overcome, and you can, too.

Then click on the link in one of the boxes on the home page to discover even more, and choose which option is right for you.

Don’t let another week, month or year go by “trying” and failing to attain something you really want to do, have or be, because your subconscious isn’t with the program.  Imagine what it will be like when “everybody” is on the same page and you’re easily and naturally able to do what needs to be done to get what you want.

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE
THERE IS NO DO-OVER

You CAN have what you want to have, be who you want to be and do what you want to do, once you get rid of what’s standing in your way.  How great will that be??  The sooner you do something about it, the sooner this will be your reality.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about resolving  it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,

sydneysig

 

Why TRYING doesn’t end up succeeding

June 10, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

What is one of the most common roadblocks when it comes to creating and maintaining a flourishing business, consistently being focused, efficient, effective and productive or easily making choices that produce the outcome you desire?

RESISTANCE

You say you want it, you think you want it, you really believe you want it, yet you never quite get around to doing what needs to be done to get it.  Or you don’t go about it the right way, you take some action and then peter off, or you get really close and never complete it.

YOUR RESISTANCE ROADBLOCKS ARE SABOTAGING YOU

Strong resistance roadblocks are nearly impossible to overcome, although there are cases of people who have such tremendous willpower they do achieve their goal, but it’s very emotionally, psychologically and often very physically draining.

And they find it very difficult to enjoy their success, because they know unless they’re constantly vigilant, they’ll lose it.  It’s not a pleasant way to live your life.

Resistance

THE STORY

Amy graduated from fashion design school and was considered one of the most likely students to succeed.  She’d had internships with two well-known fashion houses, both of whom were very impressed with her talent.

One of them offered her a job after graduation, which she didn’t take because she wanted to go into business for herself.  She did manage to eke out a living doing custom-made clothing, but her dream of being the next Donna Karan wasn’t going anywhere.

THE STRUGGLE

Just about everyone she knew told her she was making a huge mistake when she turned down that job.  However, she did have a few acquaintances who cheered her on and supported her position that she could make it on her own.

That she knew nothing about how to run a business or had any start-up capital were pesky details she brushed aside in her single-minded quest to become the next big fashion discovery.

Abracadabra!

When we first spoke, I couldn’t help but put my business consultant hat on and ask her what her strategic plan was for opening a fashion design business, and she didn’t have one.  She had bought into the “if you have passion, you’ll succeed” school of thought.

Yes, it’s true that passion makes the journey more enjoyable and a positive outcome more likely, but it’s no substitute for having a genuine plan. There’s a term in psychology for this called “magical thinking.”  It’s not a viable business model.

THE ROADBLOCKS

It turned out that Amy had some big resistance roadblocks.  Making choices that were unlikely to help her reach her goal, having unrealistic expectations of what it really takes to create a successful  business, and magical thinking were a few of the ways her resistance played out.

One of the most difficult manifestations of this resistance was in the form of the rigid belief that she was “right.”  The resistance to believing, or even considering, that perhaps she was not right was very powerful.

The nature of roadblocks

Fortunately, the nature of the Roadblock Removal process doesn’t require the client to figure out where a roadblock came from, why it’s there, or to acknowledge they’d make a mistake or an error in judgment.

Why or where is irrelevant, and they come to the conclusion themselves that there are better options, which they usually choose to take.  If they find themselves doing negative self-talk and self-blame for their previous choices and mindset, those are roadblocks that can and should be removed, too.

Resistance comes in many forms

Amy had two primary “tracks” if you will, of resistance.  The first was resistance to being successful in the first place, and the second was acknowledging she was “wrong” about who she needed to be and what she needed to do in order to realize her goal.

Most people usually have the first one to one degree or another, along with a few other ancillary issues.  The second form of resistance is tied up with identity, with who we believe ourselves to be, and is more difficult and time-consuming to remove.

THE RESULTS

Amy was fortunate that her family was so concerned that they were willing to underwrite her Roadblock Removal sessions, encouraged no doubt by the money back guarantee.

It took no small amount of faith on her part and theirs to stick with it, but she finally did achieve a breakthrough.  She decided to apply for a position at a number of design firms, and based on praiseworthy recommendations from her former teachers and employers, she finally landed a job.

Planning for the future while enjoying the present

She found that she enjoyed it so much that she threw herself into her work and received a lot of very positive feedback.  She still wants to go out on her own someday, and takes care to notice how different facets of the business contribute to the operation of the company.

Amy is happy with her job and appreciates the education she’s getting about the ins and outs of running a fashion business.  She has her eye on her ultimate goal, but in the meantime, is enjoying and taking advantage of the journey.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

Resistance is a very destructive roadblock, and most people have no idea it’s why they’re having such trouble doing what they want to do and reaching where they want to go.

They often think it must be because they aren’t working hard enough, have a procrastination problem, bad luck – any number of things.  After all, it doesn’t make sense that you’re resisting something you really want, does it?

“Trying” is futile

It’s a common belief that if you consciously desire to reach a goal and work hard enough at it, eventually you’ll get there.  (assuming the goal is realistic)  And that’s true, unless you have subconscious blocks that interfere.

If you’re having a hard time doing what it takes to achieve something you desire, stop wasting your time and energy “trying.”

If you’re trying more than you’re accomplishing and achieving, you have roadblocks, and the sooner you get rid of them, the sooner you’re going to see results.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF

Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the challenges my clients have successfully overcome, and you can, too.

Then click on the link in one of the boxes on the home page to discover even more, and choose which option is right for you.

Don’t let another week, month or year go by “trying” and failing to attain something you really want to do or have, because you have resistance roadblocks.

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE
THERE IS NO DO-OVER

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about fixing it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,

sydneysig

 

Believing that it’s possible

May 20, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

One of the biggest reasons that people do not or cannot accomplish something that’s important to them is because subconsciously, they don’t believe it’s possible.

Just about everyone chalks up “not doing something” to procrastination.  And often, that’s accurate (and a roadblock).  But just as often, they don’t do what they need to do to reach the goal they set for themselves because deep down inside, they don’t believe it’s possible for them to achieve it.

ARE YOU ABLE TO BE WHO YOU NEED TO BE TO GET WHERE YOU WANT TO GO?

If your subconscious Identity and your expressed desire Identity don’t match, your subconscious Identity wins out over the long haul.  If you can’t be who you need to be because your subconscious roadblocks are preventing and interfering with that,  you’ll never cross the finish line.

If your subconscious doesn’t believe it’s possible for you to become or be the person you’d like to be because it already “knows” who you really are, it’s going to sabotage every effort you make to be someone different.

Our subconscious minds are all about preserving our Identity, and when that Identity doesn’t match who you need to be and what you need to do to achieve your goal, it’s a real fight to get past those roadblocks it throws up to make sure you “stay where you are.”

IT REALLY ISN’T YOUR FAULT

You have very little control over your subconscious programming, and most of the time don’t even realize it’s sabotaging you.  You know the saying, “He’s his own worst enemy”?  It’s not you who are the enemy, it’s your roadblocks that are the enemy.

You’re not stupid, lazy, no good or a procrastinator, you’re at the mercy of roadblocks you didn’t even create!  Your subconscious maintains these roadblocks to support who it believes you are, and if that Identity doesn’t correspond with what you consciously want to do or be, your subconscious makes it very difficult or just plain old doesn’t allow you to make the choices and initiate and maintain the actions that would allow you to be and do differently.

THE NEW YOU

Once that subconscious programming, the roadblocks, have been eliminated, then you’ll easily, effortlessly, naturally and instinctively be able to take action and make choices that support your goals.  And your new Identity will be what YOU decide you want it to be, and your subconscious will get with the program and support who it now believes you are.

Believing that it’s possible

THE STORY

Daniel had always been a good student, went to a good college, and scored a good job after he graduated.  And he was successful – not wildly so, but certainly respectably so.

When he lost his job because of the financial crisis and couldn’t find another, he decided to strike out on his own, something he’d never thought about doing before.

But he wasn’t as successful as he would have liked, and wasn’t sure whether to attribute it to the recession or because there was something wrong with him.

THE STRUGGLE

Daniel grew up in a town where pretty much everyone worked for one of the large conglomerates that had facilities in the region.  Most were unionized, and his father was a shop steward for a union.  It was basically taken for granted amongst his peers that they’d go to work for, and retire from, one of these conglomerates, too.

But, in spite of the doubts and fears of his family and friends, Daniel decided to spread his wings and discover what else was out there.  When he lost his job, their worst fears were realized.  The job security that meant so much to them and to others who had chosen the same kind of life for themselves, wasn’t there.

He could have gone back home, but he liked living in the medium-sized city he was in and had friends and a girlfriend there who encouraged him to go into business for himself.  So he did.

THE ROADBLOCKS

Part of Daniel’s Identity consisted of believing that working for someone else was the right, most sensible and safest way to go. Everything while he was growing up supported that belief, which became part of his Identity.

You have to be and do very differently when you’re your own boss (not to mention your only employee), than you have to as an employee for a firm. Daniel identified as an employee of someone else’s business, and on a subconscious level did not believe it was possible for him to be who he needed to be and to do what needed to be done to be successful on his own.

Overwhelmed with self-doubt

So whenever he decided to do something “boss-like” his roadblocks blocked him, held him back, and sabotaged his efforts.  Of course he didn’t realize this was happening and was in the throes of a real confidence crisis when he came to me.

He accused himself of procrastinating, of not being smart enough, lazy, the usual beating up on yourself stuff.  He didn’t believe Roadblock Removal would work – too woo woo airy fairy – but when he heard there’s a 100% money back guarantee, he figured, “What do I have to lose?”

THE RESULTS

In the beginning, we had to pay more attention to the lack of self-confidence factor.  If he had roadblocks that prevented him from believing it was possible for him to create a successful business, because he was lazy, not smart enough etc, those roadblocks had to go first.

Then we tackled believing it was not possible for him to be successful, safe, and financially secure on his own.  He also didn’t believe it was possible for to make a six-figure income.  He’d never personally known anyone who made $100,000 or more a year and definitely didn’t believe that was possible!

He was thrilled with the transformation

As we steadily removed these roadblocks, Daniel was both shocked and delighted to find himself easily making choices and taking action on the goals he set for himself.  (He became a business client too, by the way.)

As the roadblocks continued to be removed, his business became more and more successful because every week he believed more and more that it was possible and that he could do it.  To address his safety issues around financial security, he began to look into creating a financial structure so that he’d have a steady income in the future, the equivalent of a pension plan.

Daniel is still a client.  We usually work together once a month now, because he has experienced for himself how much he can do and  how far he can go when roadblocks are no longer in the way.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

Do you have a project, a goal, a dream that you’d like to make a reality, but something’s holding you back?  You can’t seem to ever find the time?  The motivation, the organization and the focused determination are eluding you?

That’s all caused by roadblocks, and once a sufficient number of them are gone, you’ll be surprised at how easy and instinctively you’re able to make the choices and commit to the actions that lead you to your goal.

Once the roadblocks that support believing it’s not possible are no longer in your way, everything starts falling into place. As many, many clients have said, “It’s like magic!”

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF
Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the challenges my clients have successfully overcome, and you will, too

Then click on the link in one of the boxes on  on the home page to discover even more, and choose which option is right for you.

Don’t let another week, month or year go by, failing to attain something you really want to do or have, because roadblocks that you had very little if any part in creating, are sabotaging you and keeping you from it.

Remember, you only have one life, there is no do-over.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about fixing it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,

sydneysig

 

 

When you no longer believe in yourself

May 8, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

The majority of clients come to me for “money” reasons:  never having enough of it, unable to make any more than a certain amount, concern about what others might think about them being successful, having a “lack of identity”, not really believing they can do it, concern about what they fear and imagine they will or might lose in order to make a lot of money, having been told they would never amount to anything – the list is endless.

This is such a universal topic that I’ll address different permutations of it in future issues, but today’s success story is about a client I’ll call Irina who bought into her ex-husband and in-laws beliefs and expectations that she’d never be able to make it on her own.

Living up to other people’s expectations

The brainwashing can begin as early as childhood and originates from the attitudes parents and possibly other family members have about their ability to be successful or the judgments they have of “rich people.”

It could come from a teacher who says something disparaging about a student’s abilities, or being in an environment where success is not expected, and in some cases, classmates make negative comments about the fact that a student is doing well, because they’re invested in failure for myriad reasons.

It’s a very long list!
A boyfriend or girlfriend, a husband or wife, friends with whom a lot of time is spent, something overheard in a conversation – it could be from so many things.

THE STORY
Irina’s family emigrated from a former Iron Curtain country when she was 8.  She did well in school and went on to college, got a good job, her own apartment – she was on her way to living the American dream.

Not our kind, dear
Even better, she caught the eye of someone we’ll call Evan whose life had been one of privilege, and his parents expected him to make a “suitable match” to someone who had been brought up in similar circumstances who both understood and wanted the same things out of life that they did.

They were not amused when Evan first introduced them to Irina, and horrified when he told them they were getting married.  They made no attempt to hide their displeasure at this turn of events or their dislike of Irina.

THE STRUGGLE
Irina was aware that Evan’s parents weren’t happy about her coming into the family, but she assumed that they would soon accept her because “family is family.”  She was dismayed to realize months after the wedding that they had no intention of accepting her and every intention to sabotage the marriage.

They blatantly belittled her at every opportunity and when she reached her limit, she spoke to Evan about it and asked him to call them off.  She was pretty upset that he hadn’t done that on his own already.

But the parent-child dynamic was such that he didn’t do it, and Irina was devastated.  After four years of this, she had had enough and asked him for a divorce.

She had a difficult time
He laughed at her and asked her how she was going to support herself because he wasn’t going to give her a dime.  He was absolutely convinced she couldn’t live without him and that she couldn’t possibly make it on her own.

After four years of being told she wasn’t good enough and being accused of marrying Evan for his money, and not being supported by her husband (which she came to believe was because she wasn’t worth getting into it with his parents), Irina’s self-esteem was in the proverbial toilet.

She moved back in with her parents and decided she would go into business for herself.  Within a year she met another really great guy, very successful in his own right, and after a few months he asked her to move in with him.

THE ROADBLOCKS
He was very supportive of her fledgling business and basically paid for everything, so the money she made was hers to keep.  The problem was, she wasn’t making very much of it.  He was the one, actually, who encouraged her to work with me, and paid for it, too.

After four years of verbal abuse, she had roadblocks she just couldn’t get past, like not being smart enough, having an accent and being a foreigner was a liability, fearing that Evan might be right and she would never amount to anything, believing that no one would pay money for what she was doing…

We demolished them one by one and Irina found herself believing that she could money, that people would pay her fees, and that not being a native American wasn’t a problem at all.  She grew more and more confident and her business started to become more and more successful.

THE RESULTS
Fortunately she didn’t have to worry about keeping a roof over her head, so there wasn’t the worry and the pressure that accompanies that.  She wasn’t looking to make big money, but did want the security of being able to live modestly in the event her current situation didn’t work out.

It took a little longer before she became comfortable with raising her prices (deserving issues), but those roadblocks are also gone now.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO
Do you believe that disempowering beliefs are holding you back?   Are you subconsciously sabotaging yourself because there’s a little voice inside you that you don’t really have what it takes?  Does it feel like no matter what you do, you’ll just never be able to make the big bucks?

These are roadblocks and it’s easy to remove them.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF
Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look around to learn more about the process.  Listen to the interview with actual clients telling you in their own words about the challenges they no longer have and how much happier they are now.

Then click on one of the three boxes  on the home page (you might have to scroll down a little bit) to discover even more, and to choose which option is right for you.

Don’t let another week, month or year go by wondering why other people seem to make money so easily and you’re struggling.  It’s because when they choose to move ahead, there’s nothing getting in their way.  It’s because they don’t have roadblocks like you do.

Remember, you only have one life, there is no do-over.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about fixing it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,

sydneysig

 

Are you in love with what’s real or a fantasy?

April 24, 2014 by  
Filed under Behavioral Changes

How many of you have ever stayed in a relationship because the other person “needs” you?  How many of you have spent months or years trying to show them how happy their life would be if they would ______?  You fill in the blank.

In other words, if you could change him or her, they’d be so grateful to you for making their life so much better that they’d appreciate you, love you and never want to let you go.  I know there are a lot of you out there, and even I have been guilty of it myself.

Holding on to people so we can “fix” them

I call it “being in love with his/her potential.”  The fantasy of who this person could be and what a wonderful life you’d have together if only _____.  Some people spend years in a bad relationship because they are unable or unwilling to face up the reality that this person is never going to be anything other than who they are.

And if they’ve been with this person for a number of years, they can’t let go because of the amount of time they’ve invested.  They don’t want to go out there and search for someone new, because it isn’t a very pleasant process and who knows what you’d end up with.  So they stay with “the devil they know.”

THE STORY
Steffi had been with Ben for five years by the time she came to me.  They had only been dating for six months before she talked him into going into couples therapy.  They went on and off for the next four and a half years, but she told me that there had been only a marginal improvement.

Her family and friends had started to really put on the pressure, because five years was more than enough time to realize this man was never going to be what she hoped, wanted and needed.  But he was handsome, the sex was good when they weren’t fighting, and “we have so much fun together”, again, when they weren’t fighting.

And they fought a lot.  But she still wasn’t able to face “losing him” because of “the good parts”.  A friend referred her to me and she decided to give it a try.

THE STRUGGLE
It had taken Steffi three years on match.com to meet this man, let’s call him Brad.  She was taken by his good looks, his personality and the sex was great.  It took a few weeks before she realized that for all of his attributes, he also had many flaws, too numerous to go into here.

She took the position that if she loved him enough, was supportive enough and could show him how great a life together would be like, how could he possibly not want that?  But what you see is what you get, and if she wanted a life with him, it was clearly  going to have to be on his terms.

THE ROADBLOCKS
Steffi’s conscious roadblocks were, “but I love him”, “throwing away all the time I’ve spent on this” and an unwillingness to walk away from “what a great time we have together when we’re not fighting.”  But her friends and family had been relentless about pinning her down to just how much time that actually was, which is what caused her to take the first step.

With Roadblock Removal it doesn’t matter why she couldn’t leave him, what caused her to believe she couldn’t do better, and figuring out why she was holding on to the relationship.  As I always say, you don’t need to slog through the mud and the muck in order to get results.

THE RESULTS
After two sessions, Steffi was able to admit to herself that this was a bad relationship that was never going to get any better.  But she had a lot of fear about being on her own again; being with someone who wasn’t the greatest was better than having no one.  I know there are a lot of you who have been there!

Fortunately, Brad had moved in with her so there wasn’t the major obstacle of having to find another place to live and to move, which is stressful and expensive.  But we had to work on “How can I do this to him?” and the guilt and belief that he couldn’t survive on his own.

Get support
I suggested she arrange for them to have a couples therapy session and tell him there, which she thought was a great idea.  It took a little time before she was ready to do it, but she finally did.  And she asked her sister to come and stay with her until he had moved out, which the sister was all too happy to do if it meant getting rid of him.

Steffi has decided not to search for another boyfriend for the time being and work on building a life for herself, because she was shocked to realize how much her life and friendships had deteriorated.

She now feels such a huge sense of relief and “liberation”, “like a dark cloud has lifted”, and while she misses being in a relationship, knows she’s made the right choice.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

Are you or someone you know in love with “possibilities” instead of what’s real?  So caught up in the fantasy that you’re unwilling or unable to admit to yourself what’s really going on?  Hoping that if you just try hard enough, things will change?

Now it’s possible to come to terms with the situation without having to rehash it or figure out why it happened.  And all in the comfort of your own home, on the telephone, hanging out on a chair or even the bed – that’s it.  Your business stays your business and you don’t even have to believe in it for it to work.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF
Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and take a look at the About page to learn more about the process.  Check out the Is This You? page to see some of the challenges clients have successfully overcome.

Then click on the blue box on the home page (you might have to scroll down a little bit) to discover even more, and to choose which option is right for you.

Don’t let another week, month or year go by stuck in a life that isn’t what you think or know it could be.

Remember, you only have one life, there is no do-over.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about fixing it.

Wishing you happiness, prosperity and abundance in all things,

sydneysig

 

Could this be what’s holding you back?

April 10, 2014 by  
Filed under Mindset

So many of us are living a life that doesn’t feel authentic, that doesn’t feel like who we really are or who we could be if we could only make the choices and changes that would improve it.

What you fear or imagine you will or might lose if…

After years of doing this work, one of the roadblocks I come across often is what people subconsciously fear or imagine they will or might lose if they stray from the straight and narrow road they’re on, the road that others expect them to stay on, the road that is no longer taking them to a fulfilling and happy place.

If your subconscious is “protecting” you from what it perceives as the loss of something of value and significance if you stray from this road, it’s extremely difficult to bypass that roadblock and do it anyway.

THE STORY
Isabel is married, has three children, lives in an upscale suburb, and is a stay-at-home mom.  Both she and her husband want her to be there for the children as they’re growing up, and he makes a good salary, so they can afford it.

Now that all of the children are in school, Isabel wants to “do something” so she has extra money to spend on herself and on the children for “special things”.  She wants to work from home in case one of the children gets sick or has a day off from school.

She was an administrative assistant before she got pregnant and thought she might pursue that same line of work virtually.

THE STRUGGLE
She got her first client by answering an ad posted on a website for VAs, and the client started by giving her little things to do and as her confidence in Isabel grew, kept giving her more.  Isabel envisioned she would work 3-4 hours a day 3-4 days a week, only when the children weren’t home.

She very much likes this client and is really enjoying the work she’s doing.  She likes being a part of the team and watching the business grow and succeed.  It’s very rewarding and has become meaningful to her.

Her client is so pleased and impressed with Isabel’s business sense and work ethic that she wants her to head up the team when the current person leaves in a few months.  Isabel feels very honored and proud of herself, but can’t decide what to do.

THE ROADBLOCKS
She discussed it with her husband, who told her to do it if that’s what she wants.  She’d have to find someone to step in and help out with the children after school, and there are a few high school girls in the neighborhood she knows who would be good at that.

But she can’t bring herself to say yes.  She really wants to do it, her husband is good with it, she would still be at home “just in case” and help is easily accessible.  The way she consciously processes it is fearing she’ll really mess up in some way, disappoint the client, and even damage the business.

But every once in a while, the thought enters her mind that she could definitely do it and that this self-doubt isn’t true.  Then the awfulizing takes over again.  She’s torn about what to choose and these conflicting thoughts, emotions and beliefs are making her miserable.

THE RESULTS
When we first spoke, Isabel asked me to help her with her self-confidence, because she believed that was the problem.  But once we got started, it became clear that this was not the problem.  The  roadblock actually turned out to be what she feared and imagined she would or might lose if she said yes.

One of the big pluses of roadblock removal is that it isn’t necessary to go digging around to find out what she’s afraid she’d lose.  It’s not like therapy.  It’s removing the roadblock itself that frees you up to do what you want to do and be who you want to be.

After a few sessions, Isabel is thrilled to find that she not only wants to say yes, she’s enthusiastic about her decision, too!  She’s now in the process of working with the woman she’s replacing and in a few weeks, will officially take over.

IT’S POSSIBLE FOR THIS TO BE YOUR REALITY, TOO

Are you finding it difficult to make choices that would change your life in some way?  This roadblock, what you fear or imagine you will or might lose, could very possibly be what’s holding you back.  Even if you could figure out what that might be, it still won’t budge that roadblock.

Fear of change is common to every one of us to some degree.  It keeps us stuck in a life that we might want to be different, whether it be a little or a lot.  This is the only life you’ll ever have; if you’re not living it in a way that truly makes you feel satisfied and happy, look into getting rid of the roadblocks that aren’t allowing you to make the choices and changes that will improve it.

DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF
Go to the Roadblock Removal website right now, and read the About page to learn more about the process.  Don’t let another week, month or year go by stuck in a life that isn’t  what you think or know it could be.

Remember, you only have one life, there is no do-over.

If you have any questions, email me at sydney@sydneybarrows.com and we’ll schedule a call so you can describe your situation to me, and I’ll tell you how we’ll go about fixing it.

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